When You Should Stop Caring
People care too much. People invest too much of themselves into the wrong causes. If you ever did something above and beyond your breaking point, then you've probably cared too much. I don't think we're meant to do that if we don't want to.
The Pet Peeve of this Entry: An individual born into a family and brainwashed that family is the most important thing. This individual throws away over half their hopes and dreams because they believe they are indebted to their family. The family keeps getting deathly ill and one by one this person believes they are responsible to take care of every dying family member, one after the other. Soon this person is dying themselves and the only thing they've done their entire life was "played nurse."
I've seen it happen one too many times. I have had way too many friends that have cut their own life short to make the deaths of people they can't stand more comfortable. We normally have a love/hate relationship with our birth families. I say, if you hate them, get the hell away from them! I.e. your mother has done nothing but treat you like shit all your life. Your mother gets cancer and calls you up to tell you. Your reaction is not to say, "Die bitch, die." Instead you rush to her side and take care of her throughout her last lengthy painful days. Why? Because it's your duty as her child? Since she was a bitch to you and threw you in the closet as a child? That's logical.
The Facts as I Know Them: Your birth family is 100% metaphorically disposable. We are born and the rest is drag, families included. If you don't like them, they why are you keeping them around? They raise you, you move out, you disown them and get yourself a new family. Friends are our family. A friend will get your back because they want to. A family member will get your back only because they feel they have to and that it may benefit them in the long run.
You should never waste your life taking care of someone else if you don't want to. That want should be clear as day and it should never leave you thinking, "Why am I doing this? I could be doing something much better." It is not your duty to care for anyone but yourself. This is why we, the people of our government, have set up services to care for the ill, disabled and unwanted. Yes I know these systems do not work. However they are supposed to and perhaps we need to fix them. That's something to dedicate a life to.
Why I Think So: I am a strong person, thus far fully functional in all the ways I need to be. I am dedicated to myself and my survival — alone. If I were to fall ill or unfortunately forever damaged, the last thing on my mind would be having someone else take care of me. I wouldn't expect it. I would expect the government to poorly take care of me. That's about it.
The Rub: I freak out a bit when I see people that expect to be taken care of. Back before I left my extended birth family I ran into this following scenario quite a bit. We had Old-As-Dirt Family Member A lose their partner. Soon Old-As-Dirt Family Member A got sick themselves. Instead of shipping OADFMA to the hospital or nursing home the family declared "they take care of their own!" Which is all well and good, but what ensued was six years of OADFMA wreaking absolute havoc on about up to a dozen lives, because everyone was burdened. OADFMA's slow death caused three people to have mental break downs, one to start getting gray hairs, another to drink way too much and another to end up on so many anti-depressants it wasn't funny. Now you tell me, was caring for their own, that one single old life, worth the pain & pressure it caused the people trying to manage it? I reckon not.
What's the Point!?: Stop caring for people you don't want to. It's not your job. Would you want someone that hates you taking care of you? If you think you deserve other people's kindness you're wrong. People are responsible, as cosmic creatures, to spread love and happiness. Though I don't think it's a requirement, nor anything you should add to your list of basic level expectations.
Take some responsibility for yourself. We all should. If we all did there would be less of this crap. Not only that, but start to assume other people should be more responsible. We are not children.
