Positive Self Image VS Just Being a Jerk
It really flips my pancake when I read through people's profiles on networking sites and I see how they describe themselves. It's either not enough or just far too much self-ego stroking.
You should never say, "I don't know what to say about myself. I don't like talking about myself." Well why not? You should have something to say about yourself. Something good to say. If you think you're not worth writing about then I guess you're worthless. In your eyes. Stop it!
Then we've got people that just go over the top. This is a description that would piss me off, "Hi, I'm a gorgeous tall sexy guy. I'm looking to have fun. I love having fun!" Well, that was vague. I guarantee his fun is not the fun I like to have, so "fun" really doesn't sum up anything. Then there's all those adjectives describing his beauty. He has decided that he is gorgeous and sexy. Well let me tell you, I saw this one's pictures and no he's not.
I am attractive and I love myself, however I'm not particularly sure I'd say I am sexy. Perhaps I'd say I feel sexy, but only at times when I actually feel sexy. Who are you to tell anyone how gorgeous you are? How do you know!? One man's gorgeous is another's garbage. Don't try to sell me yourself based on the description of "I'm sexy." Can you imagine if this was all over the phone and you asked a person to describe themselves? "Well, I'm just gorgeous!" I think most people would laugh their ass off to that statement over the phone.
If you asked people why they thought they were sexy or gorgeous they'd start telling you about their skinny waist, six pack abs, tits like rocks or glamorous Bette Davis eyes. As it's usually those that have been brainwashed by Hollywood that feel since they meet the standards of Hollywood, they have passed some test of social attraction.
These people should say what they really are thinking. "I'm very attracted to myself!" I mean, seriously, these people must give themselves a hard-on. Which is actually rather great, but they should just say that instead of all that other business. There is no definition of gorgeous or sexy. Yet people seem to think it has a very set list of standards.
I don't think that shit is very sexy. I don't think it's gorgeous much. Actually, I bet I would find it attractive if you didn't brag about it so much. "Look at my six pack abs! This took me forever! Look at them, aren't they sexy!?" Well they would have been if you didn't care so much about a bundle of over exaggerated muscles.
Oh and what about those personal ads in which someone states, "Only contact me if you're hot." How do I know if I'm hot to you!? Do I judge this by looking at you and figuring that since I look nothing like you I am indeed ugly as sin? Since that's how it appears.
I was once told that people (gay men especially) only want who they are. As in the skinny hairless guys want skinny hairless guys and the big buff ones only want big buff ones. At the time I felt this was ridiculous. Who wants what they already have? Not me. I want what I don't have. It's what I have always looked for in both genders when I am looking for a partner.
There really is something to be said about finding someone that completes you. I don't want to look in a mirror when I look into my partner. I want to feel that they make up for all the things I lack and I do the same for them. Together we are a complete puzzle. Finding that person means that I have found someone that makes me a bigger better person with them there. You should have qualities, physically and mentally, that I do not have. I have enough fun with myself, alone. I can eat a meal alone and totally entertain myself. I please myself in plenty of ways just fine. I don't need to find another me to do that. I need a full length mirror to do that, not a person.
For some reason people seem to be hell bent on finding themselves. I want someone to fill in everything I am not. I wouldn't mind a skinny or buff guy, as I am neither. I wouldn't mind a really book smart tom-boy woman, because I am not that either. Opposites are wonderful. Especially if you can debate constantly while still being so in love. It's fantastic.
People have definitely gotten away from that. All this "no drama/no baggage" business in the world of romance. Nobody wants a good fight anymore. Nobody wants a challenge. There is no mystery anymore. A good partner that is totally different. Someone to disagree with and still love. Somebody that doesn't look like yourself. A complex individual. Suddenly "complex" has become synonymous with "scary crazy baggage."
The other evening at that concert I went to there were mostly gay men. Most seemed to be coupled. Almost every pair was exactly the same. They had the same hair cut, same glasses and wore the same type of clothing. I just kept seeing example after example of this and all I could think is ... this is just wrong. This is wrong on a pod people level.
Comments
I've tried online dating several times and also want to hear something more than "I'm a fun guy" or "I'm easygoing."
How does this sound? I like to eat sushi naked, enjoy swimming in the ocean after midnight and radiate a lively inner beauty that makes my pores glisten. I'm "fun" but also love to lounge at home with a racy novel or gangster movie.
maybe there is some truth to that idea that gay men want to find carbon copies of themselves....so many gay couples i see look exactly like one another!
odd....
my profile changes every few weeks...i say alot sometimes and and quite succinct at other times. one thing that annoys me, though, are people who take themselves too seriously!
mmmmmmmmhm would sum up my feelings about this post correctly.
to elaborate, i halfway agee about opposites attracting. i don't want somone completely opposite than me but if my partner had all the same qualities as me it wouldn't be a good situation. i like attention. and i think i date sensitive guys cuz if i dated someone with my mentality i'd probaly think they were an a-hole lol.
hm. two prominent gay guys in my life are attracted to the different. one wears a & f and hollister type clothing and only likes the black thug type ha. the other one dresses really well but likes manly men. those are the only 2 i know like that though. they're probably exceptions not the rule.
Personally I put "Insert self-depreciation here" as my only profile, because I know that it's stupid to put myself down in print, but can't brag and can't find that line marked "here be a healthy balance".
I'm hoping that the "opposites attract" thing kicks in, because a partner like me would be a nightmare. And, as you rightly say, I think a heated debate now and again can be healthy... it shows that you respect the other person's intelligence and opinion enough to engage with them that way. Reality is subjective, and fluid, so it helps to have people coming at the situation from different angles... theoretically...
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:joshua:
"i like to keep it real."
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:joshua: